If both parents consent to the CIP process, and the FDRP believes CIP would be a good option for the case, I can provide information about my process and availability. I am happy to have an initial conversation with parents if it assists them in choosing a consultant who they are comfortable with.

I meet with children who are aged 5-17, ideally in person, although for older children I can meet them on zoom. My time with the children is spent doing activities and speaking with them to enable the children to engage in a relaxed way and allow me to make some observations about what is happening for this child at this time in their life. Ultimately, the child determines what they are comfortable sharing with their parents, and this information can be shared with both parents together, with the parents separately or a combination of both.

I meet with each parent initially and then make arrangements to meet their child/ren. After meeting with the child I will take some time to prepare feedback in preparation for a meeting with the parents and the FDRP. The information provided in this session is inadmissible in Court however notes may be taken by the parents, and it is encouraged that the information shared provides a basis for a further mediated discussion.

Yes - they do. I cannot take a referral to CIP if both parents do not consent.

CIP is not suitable in all situations, and your Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner will assess whether it is appropriate to offer it. Family dynamic, the existence and level of family violence and any special needs that exist for the child may be considered in making this decision.

No, it’s not. The very best way to make sure that kids are kept out of the conflict is to ensure that you are speaking about the separation and the other parent in ways that does not draw your child into it. The CIP process takes place outside of the mediation process and at no point are children asked to make a decision or choose between their parents. If CIP is described to kids in a way that highlights their empowerment and the importance of their voice, children can be insulated from any conflict that exists between their parents.

Children are invited to engage with this process but are never forced to take part. Children benefit from understanding the purpose of the meeting, so providing this information in an age-appropriate way can assist kids to feel more comfortable.

Some information that may assist children is: Telling the child/ren that how they are travelling is important to you and would help you and the other parent in your decision making. Telling the child/ren that they will never be asked to make decisions or choose between their parents. Telling the child/ren that their sessions with the Child Consultant are private but not secret – they are the boss of what information is shared with their parents. Telling the child/ren that they can choose what they do and say in the session.

The activities that the Child Consultant runs with the child/ren are designed to encourage sharing information from children in the areas of their relationships, their emotions, their physical space, their community etc. Observations of what the child thinks and feels about these things will be noted and the child will decide what will be shared with their parents.

The Child Consultant does not interpret the observations made. They simply reflect what they are given permission to share and will encourage the parents, who are the experts on their child, to come to conclusions that support the child/ren. This is designed to assist parents in future parenting arrangements.

I charge my fees at an hourly rate of $250 per hour with parents equally sharing this cost, with a breakdown of the work as follows:

Assessment/Intake with parents 1 -2 hours for each parent
Briefing by FDRP and set up 1 hour (2 hours for 3 or more children)
Meeting with Child 1 - 2 hours per child (if possible, two visits with each parent to bring the child once)
Preparing Feedback 1.5 hours for one child (2.5 hours for 2 children, 3.5 hours for 3 children)
Presenting Parent Feedback 1 hour per child (2 hours for 2 children, 3 hours for 3 children)

Melanie is a Child Consultant, Separation and Divorce Coach and Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner who has been working with separated families for almost 10 years. She has completed training in the “Meeting with Children” and “Meeting with Parents” approach. She has qualifications in psychology, counselling and law and has previously worked with primary aged children in schools. She is a mother of three and is passionate about children – their inherent value, and the importance of their voice.